What is the longest amount of time you have gone without looking at your phone? An afternoon...an hour...do you even know? Its understandable to want to know and be connected with the things happening outside the four walls of your home. To do work to get ahead (or stay on top of things). To look at pictures and videos (or post some yourself). To read about what matters (or "matters").
Some self-awareness will do you some good. Are you spacing out on your phone as your child is trying to get your attention? Are you spacing out on your phone as your child has a meltdown? Are you spacing out on your phone as your child figures out how to unlock the front door? It's okay to look at your phone. As the article below states, your kids do not require 100% of your focus. They can be age-appropriately independent for a bit. But, when and why you are on your phone is telling as to what your priorities (and maybe deficiencies) are at the time. Take the time to engage with your kids. Model to them how to handle their emotions. Teach them how to talk with others, about manners, about wants and needs. Make them feel wanted, loved and encouraged. Remember, though, you need the same. It's about creating healthy boundaries. On the whole, we don't function better when pulled many ways, but we do need the many parts of our life present in order to function. Do your best to create time for each part. We are raising little people to be healthy and well-rounded. Model that in yourself, show that you struggle with it and are working on improvement constantly and encourage your kids to do the same. Give them the attention, patience and space you also need in your non-parent self. www.parents.com/health/parents-news-now/is-your-smartphone-affecting-your-relationship-with-your-kids/ You love your kid. You love your kid more than you ever thought you could. It's one of the magical and impressive parts of being a parent -- watching your heart grow to immeasurable sizes and seeing that your heart now resides outside of your body and in this little human being. You love your kid. So, it makes sense that you want to share with friends, family, and unknown others how incredible it is that there is this adorable baby/toddler/child in your life. Share those memories. Share those pictures. Share those videos. But be mindful of what you are sharing and how that may impact your child later on.
www.parenting.com/toddler/safety/why-you-shouldnt-post-these-8-photos-your-kids-social-media There are times when we need to leave our kids for a bit: we have to go to work, we have to go to the grocery store, we have to take a shower...at different times in the toddler years, this can make a child nervous. While they might understand you aren't leaving forever, you being gone for even a little bit can feel like too much for them. Creating a routine with your toddler, developing a calm and simple way of explaining where and why you are going and then reminding your toddler you will be back can make the situation move from chaos to manageable in their minds.
Parents, understand that we all go through this stage. It is hard for both the kids and the parents. Its tiresome. Its frustrating. Its sad. It will get better and you will both survive...but its tough. www.parenting.com/article/separation-anxiety-age-by-age |
Elizabeth HammerA healthier, happier you. Archives
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