Susan Cain is a writer and researcher, most recently focusing on introversion. In her book, "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking" as well as her TED Talk, Cain discusses how introversion is an asset in a culture that extols an extrovert ideal. Introversion has been inaccurately believed to be a term describing shy, socially awkward people. In reality, introverted people respond to external stimulation differently than extroverted people (who actually respond differently to internal stimulation). The fact is that the majority of us are somewhere on the scale between introversion and extroversion. The key is to figure out how you process information best, how you communicate best, and how you FEEL best and go from there. A bit of introspection -- and even some sessions with a therapist -- can be incredibly helpful in figuring out your healthiest, most successful self.
Life is beautiful and it is brutal. It's brutiful.
Life can be uncomfortable and messy. There are times when we are not okay. We may begin to cope in incredibly unhealthy ways, but ways that help to satisfy us much faster than healthy ways. We may self-medicate, we may self-harm, we may binge, we may isolate, we may cover up in any and every way possible the fact that we are not okay. We are given momentary relief from the life that hurts us, but after all of that, are you relieved? Do you feel better...for more than a moment? Do you want to? Glennon Doyle Melton talks about this very subject in her TEDx Talk entitled "Lessons from a Mental Hospital." Give it a look.
Perfect is the enemy of good.
Are you someone who feels that being the best is the only option? That exceeding a goal, rather that meeting it, is the only acceptable action? That even when you exceed and are the best, you still have not reached the level you feel you need to in order to be deemed a "success?" Perfection is a problem. The idea of being perfect affects an individual's whole being and prevents them from being present in the moment, gratified by accomplishments, and happy with who they are. The would-be perfectionist's problem is that his or her fear of failure and quest for the impossible -- yes, impossible -- permeate his or her identity and change it. Gone are the days, if they ever existed, when the would-be perfectionist is content with how an event turned out. Gone are the days when the would-be perfectionist can give him or herself a job well done pat on the back. The challenge is to reach beyond the stars and you know what's beyond those stars? More stars. The would-be perfectionist's quest is never done, never satisfied and creates such an unhappy, unfulfilled way of life that can result in anxiety, depression, stress, and isolation. Below is an article written by one such would-be perfectionist. Her point of view may resonate with you and may even help you to see that life does not have to be as you have chosen to make it. There's another way that will lead to gratification and success.
"I Was So Afraid of Failing That I Wasn't Really Living. Here's How I Took My Sanity Back."
By Clare Milliken
A healthier, happier you.