Domestic violence has become a hot topic in the media as of late. It's something that deserves our attention and energy to change. Whether the violence is against a woman or a man, whether it is physical, emotional, or verbal...it needs to stop. Relationships are built on a foundation of trust, honesty, love, and affection, not power, greed, and control. Christi Paul of CNN wrote a fascinating piece on why our culture is asking the wrong question when it comes to domestic violence. She says that we should not be asking "Why does she stay?" but ask "Why does he hit her and why is no one stopping it?" When someone you love exerts power and control over you in a supremely negative way, it can change you. It can make you fearful, isolated, and make you begin to doubt yourself. It's moments like these that it becomes incredibly important for someone to step in and stop the negative cycle. To do that, our culture needs to begin by changing its foundation: create a tighter community presence, educate on domestic violence, find healthier anger management techniques, and KNOW that it is not the victim's fault. When it comes to domestic violence, what do you know to think or do? Do you blame or do you help? Do you stare at the "wreck" or help prevent further harm? What do you do?
We search for meaning, we search for happiness. Both can be incredibly elusive at times. David Steindl-Rast gives a compelling TED Talk on achieving happiness through gratitude. Though we may look for happiness in large efforts and places, it may be easier to obtain in the small things. Take a look...
Life is beautiful and it is brutal. It's brutiful.
Life can be uncomfortable and messy. There are times when we are not okay. We may begin to cope in incredibly unhealthy ways, but ways that help to satisfy us much faster than healthy ways. We may self-medicate, we may self-harm, we may binge, we may isolate, we may cover up in any and every way possible the fact that we are not okay. We are given momentary relief from the life that hurts us, but after all of that, are you relieved? Do you feel better...for more than a moment? Do you want to? Glennon Doyle Melton talks about this very subject in her TEDx Talk entitled "Lessons from a Mental Hospital." Give it a look.
A healthier, happier you.